Earlier this year when my Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer my world collapsed and my life as I always knew it to be ceased to exist. I devoted my mind, body and soul in taking care of my Mom and her declining health, spending every waking moment in the hospital. My brother was also there and would assist in her care as well. At this time I didn’t concern myself with proper eating (or sleeping for that matter), and Mom insisted we share the processed – and at times inedible hospital food she forced herself to consume every day. This type of diet was not aligned with my vegan lifestyle, but the beautiful moments spent with her made it SO worth it.
After Mom’s passing on April 27 I immediately fell into a deep depression. I had no desire to speak with anyone nor was I able to see life the same way again. As a professional speaker I have dedicated my life to empowering and inspiring people to overcome adversity and loss. Now, in this time of despair, I allowed my ego to bring self-doubt into my consciousness. “I must be a hypocrite if I can’t get through this,” I constantly thought to myself. I absorbed the grief from the loss of my Mother and created my own detachment from all the happiness I knew I deserved.
While my brother and I were at the hospital I recall raving about how great he looked physically. His arms were defined and his appearance overall was much different than I remembered since I saw him last.
“I’m doing the Insanity workout,” he said proudly.
“WHAT? Holy cow! That looks CRAZY!” I exclaimed. “Is it hard?”
“It’s insane,” he replied, “but you can do it. I have an extra copy I can send you.”
My husband and I watched the Insanity infomercial several times and thought the workouts were virtually impossible for people like us. We haven’t worked out in months and I certainly didn’t feel ready for a physically challenging workout such as this.
I ignored my doubts and exclaimed, “Oh yeah! I want it!” I was beyond excited. Although my body was not prepared to “go insane” my mind surely was.
A week after my Mom’s passing I received a package from my brother – Insanity had reached our door. My husband and I pulled the trigger and began our insane journey on June 8.
I weighed myself before the first Fit Test and wasn’t surprised; I gained 7.5 lbs since my Mom fell ill. I had a feeling this was the case. I was sluggish most of the time and knew it had mostly to do with my unhealthy eating habits and over-the-top stress levels.
The Fit Test, which is highly recommended to do before beginning the Insanity workout, was nothing short of a rude awakening. The “Switch Kicks”, “Power Jumps” and “Power Knees” exercises left me on my hands and knees gasping for air, but after dedicating ourselves to the workouts every day we started seeing the results after just two weeks. I possessed a much stronger core and developed a higher level of stamina I hadn’t seen since my teenage years as a runner. I was more focused with every workout session and had clarity, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to not only focus on the routines, but release the pain and sorrow that engulfed me for weeks.
As I continued the fitness journey I had a stronger sense of peace, strength and confidence to complete the 60-day challenge. I no longer felt hypocritical for grieving; for although I am a speaker and writer, I am also a daughter, and that meant more to me than anything else I could think of.
A BIG thank you to Shaun T for creating such a phenomenal program and for unknowingly helping me in my healing process. I am indeed, “Digging DEEPER” and always will be.
On August 8 we completed the Insanity program and it was clearly the best decision to stay focused on our goals. And yes, this sh&* is BANANAS, yo! 🙂
About Michelle Cruz Rosado
Michelle Cruz Rosado is a professional speaker and bestselling co-author of "Pursuing Your Destiny: How to Overcome Adversity and Achieve Your Dreams." Follow Michelle for inspiring messages and quotes.