Both my mother and father loved Frank Sinatra—his songs, his charisma, his mysteriousness. Their record collection consisted of artists such as himself, Vicki Carr, Englebert Humpernick, Tom Jones (am I getting being dated here?)
One of my favorites was Frank Sinatra’s “A Swingin’ Affair!” album. The horns and instrumentals had me dancing as a toddler and I was an immediate fan of his music. As I turned into a teenager however, my Mom began playing one particular song I could not help but recite.
Sinatra’s song “My Way” has spanned the test of time of as one of the most influential songs of the 21st Century. To my Mom, it was a testament to her life as a single working mother in New York City.
When she divorced my Dad in the early 80’s she reminded me of how important it was to do things my way—the only way in which everyone should live. I was only 12 years old at the time, but for whatever reason I understood her point completely.
There were times when I relied on the opinions of others so often that I couldn’t tell if my decisions were based on my own inner guidance or what was said by another. What I found is by removing my self-judgment, not only would the delusional flaws disappear, but what others’ opinions will also have less significance.
Many of us decide to take the “high road” and accommodate others for fear of conflict. Other reasons may be:
- Our value system.
- Our desire to be liked by others
- Our desire to be part of a community
- Our self-doubt
- Our mind
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” Marcus Aurelius
Here are some lessons (hard ones at that) that might help you understand why your way is the best way.
Do things for yourself in all that you do. Many people make decisions or take action mainly for validation. Only you know yourself well enough to determine whether or not you are on the right path. Without true inner belief others will attempt to dictate your life for you. Ask yourself: is your ego so inflated that your need to recognized as a credible, professional, and successful person has clouded your judgment? Once you release this notion, you will know that there is no wrong or right—only truth.
“Calm down and listen to the little voice inside and have the guts to follow it. Trust yourself and know that if you’re wrong you have the ability to bounce back.” ~ Steve Siebold
Compare yourself with your Self instead of comparing to others. Comparing social stature, outward appearances and other illusions is completely inaccurate. Are you happy with your progress, or is there a fear or worry of rejection? How much time have you spent (or will you spend) looking at the life of others and not yours? The time is now to see how phenomenal your life is.
The victim mentality is an illusion. Playing the victim can only cause needless suffering and loss of power. Instead of playing that silly game, take a moment to accept things as they are. With practice, you can to start to change the way you see the world and have the power to redirect the future the way you want to.
Embrace vulnerability. Being vulnerable can be a beautiful thing despite the way it might feel initially. Allow yourself to be hurt and embrace discomfort, for this is where the awareness emerges. Trust yourself completely, and be confident that you will continue to rise whenever you fall.
You are not alone in this. You could lose all of your possessions, but there is no way to lose who you are—your true essence. Like G-Eazy says in “Me, Myself & I,” I, got me for life.
These lessons may not be learned overnight, but I have found that by doing things my way made life less dependent on others and therefore helped in my healing process.
How has “doing it your way” helped you in your growth process? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
p.s. – This post is dedicated to my manager, Kenny Luppo who continues to help me see my true essence and let’s me to do it my way.